Farewell my friend ….
Still can’t believe that this was true, still thinking it was my fever is giving me some hallucinations. But it’s true, the email was there, and it has exactly what was written there. I wasn’t hallucinating. A friend has left us all. A heart attack. He went to the same high school as I did. We didn’t hang out that much, but I know him as a friend. We talked, we laughed, we hung out, we were friend. And now he’s returned next to our Father in heaven. I don’t remember much about him other than his sincere smiles, his kindness, his open heart, and his laugh which always seemed to be in his face.
Just when you think you have everything under control, things can sneak up on you and go out of hand just like that. His passing away made me think about a lot of things that I’ve been delaying for a long time, the things I should have done a long time ago. I was thrown back hard to reality in an instance. My frozen cage of time has just been shattered and suddenly I was pushed forward to the present that I have been ignoring. The time to move on has been past due for years. The hope I’ve been clinging on all this time is nothing but yet another fantasy, though I’ve always know that it is. But I kept delaying and delaying, hoping that there is still a glance of hope that just might get bigger. The lies whispers do nothing more than being deceitful. Time do run out, and I may have just been burning mine for nothing, for a chance to cling to hope that never exists in the first place.
Farewell my dear friend, even as you leave you’ve teach me a lesson. Nothing less from you from what I remember. Give me strength to step forward and lift my feet from this piles of stones that I put on top of them, and perhaps I will learn to live without lies and found a reality beyond just hope.
For you being who you are … you will be missed here in this world ….
