Moments of a Lifetime

• "Good morning God … I’m still sleepy

  "

• Ugghh … my body still hurts all over … hmm … it still hasn’t recovered yet …….
• I’m hungry
• It’s going to rain ….
• Hahaha … thank you for another wonderful day
• Hmm …. this is good for lunch
• Got to pack
• Heh? A voicemail? When did the phone rang?
• Hey, this song’s really really good …. w - Shiroi iro wa koibito no iro
• Ooopss … I’m late. I’m going now ……
• Rain … rain … rain … should have seeded the grass yesterday …..
• What? Issues with the test? Again?
• I wonder if he knows where to look ……
• I’m hungry …….
• Not again ….. can’t fail again ….. Got to try again, this time it will be okay ….
• lunch .. lunch … lunch ….
• bored ….

Spring’s here … spring’s here …..

I can’t wait until I can play outdoors again. It’s been a year since my knee surgery, and I really missed playing volleyball. My knee isn’t in great shape, but it should be enough to start playing again

Start of spring, nice and cool weather, this is how it supposed to be at all time, isn’t it …. hahaha …. But, any day I’m breathing is going to be a good day for me 

It’s time to get that check list of things to do this Spring:

• Re-seed my yard …. the grass look dead

  . This year …. definitely, the grass will GROW …. (yeah I said that last year as well …. )

• Keep working on that knee ….. It’s so hard …..
• Start playing volleyball again …. woohooo ….. … but have to watch for the knee ..
• Clean up the house ….

  (anybody want to help ….)

• Sleep … sleep … sleep …. I really have to get 7 hrs / day ……….

I’m sure more will come, but for now, SPRING …. SPRING … SPRING …..

I just came back from a friends’ daughter’s birthday, she’s 4 now. Boy, time surely flies. I still remember visiting my friends when she was born. She used to cry when I was coming closer to her, she would avoid me and hide behind her parents. The last thing I remember was she ran away when I said hi to her, she avoided me. She’s afraid of strangers, and I don’t blame her, we barely saw each other at all.

Today, I put my hand in her shoulder, her dad took a picture of us together, and she was smiling. When did this happen? When did she become not afraid of me anymore? Did I do anything different this time? I didn’t, everything was still the same for me. If I had given up trying to communicate with her, I wouldn’t have known her reaction. If I had decided not to talk to her again, I wouldn’t have discovered this. It’s a wonderful feeling of being accepted.

People change, they constantly do. Even when we think we don’t, we still do. I thought I did not do anything different this time, and that was probably true. She’s probably the one that changed, she become less afraid of me, and can start open up a bit. She’s learned to communicate to strangers a bit, and she’s learned when she does not have to be afraid.

People around me change, even when I am not for the moment. Is it for the better or is it for the worse? Nobody knows today of what the changes will do in the future. But, if I move on forward, better things might come true. If I just move on forward, worse thing can happen to me, but better things happen as well. If I gave up, I won’t know what’s going to happen in the future, cause I’ll always live in the past. So there is hope for anything, if I just move forward. Even when I don’t change anything, better things can still come true. I can move forward with hope. If I let hope guide me, if I hold on to hope, if I do anything that I can for my hope, then certainly better things will come my way as well.

Happy birthday my dear, and thank you for your reminder of the need for never ending hope.

3 more hours before my roommates have to leave to the airport. I’ll probably still be sound asleep at 4:00 AM in the morning. I still see their stuff all over the place, but I probably won’t see it anymore when I wake up tomorrow.

Goodbyes have been said, our path splits right here once again. Farewell my friends, I’ll see you when I go home. Until then, I wish you all the best, and may God light your path so that you won’t get tripped down the road. The next time I see you, I hope you’ve found what you searched for, and you’ve accomplished your goals that you set when you decided to move.

Tomorrow, the rooms will be empty …….. My day will start like yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and so on, but the rooms will still be empty when I get back. It will be quiet, but the memories will stay, and I’ll smile knowing that I have been given good memories to keep.

Until the day we meet again my friends ….. but for now, farewell dear friends ………

1 ½ more days before my roommates leave the country and start embarking on another journey, another start, another adventure. I hate goodbyes, always did, still do, always will. Even the sky was torned apart, showering us with probably one of the messiest winter snow storm this year in this area.

Diva put a quote of Dr. Seuss in her blog: "Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened." Our friendship started in a very unconventional way, filled with lots of weird moments, rough times, but yet somehow balance things out at the end. Don’t worry if it sound vague, cause I did make it as vaguely as possible

Did I mentioned I hate goodbyes? Shall I smile cause we met? Should I cry cause we will walk on different path? I do not know. I just want to hold on another day, before that last handshake, before that last smile, before I have to say goodbye.

On the day we part, I will say "mata-ne", and I will see you later ……….., and those rooms will be empty once again …
 

Are you a highly sensitive person? I think I am … though I am not sure yet …

Based on a book by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., "The Highly Sensitive Person - How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You", most of HSP compared to non-HSP are (page 10-11):

• Better at spotting errors and avoiding making errors.
• Highly conscientious.
• Able to concentrate deeply. (But we do best without distractions.)
• Especially good at tasks requiring vigilance, accuracy, speed, and the detection of minor differences.
• Able to process material to deeper levels of what psychologists call "semantic memory."
• Often thinking about our own thinking.
• Able to learn without being aware we have learned.
• Deeply affected by other people’s mood and emotions.

I think that’s pretty awesome. I’ve only finished chapter 1, with 9 more chapters to go. Guess I’ll find out more pretty soon about HSP.

It was a sunny day, perfect day for traveling. I went to Ann Arbor, Michigan this past weekend for the CFM praise and worship event. CFM members were invited
by ASM over at Michigan to do praise and worship there. So, I went to Columbus to pick up a couple of people and head over to Michigan.

Just when I was about to start traveling from Columbus, I was told that they were trying to catch a mass
over at Michigan,
which was about 3 ½ hours earlier than what I expected. We didn’t really have
enough time to be able to catch the mass. So I had to speed up all the way
there, luckily we got there safely and only missed 15 minutes of it. Yeah, I
know, we still missed a big chunk of it …. I’m making up excuses so I don’t
feel too bad of it ….

The praise and worshiped went extremely well, the guys were
great in singing and playing the musical instruments. It was wonderful. The ASM
members over at Michigan were very welcoming and friendly as well. The chief in command of ASM had to
wear the buckeyes sweatshirt cause UM lost against OSU in the regular season ….
(go bucks ….). It was a night full of memories. Oh, did I say that the food was
great as well? Not to mention the all of the ladies were stunning as well,
they’re all really beautiful ….

Just before we’re about to go home, I glanced at the sky and
the stars, and there they were, as clear as sky can be, and the stars were shining
so beautiful up there. Before I know it, I was inhaling deeply in that cold
night, and I was so mesmerized by this beautiful scene. For a moment, I felt at
peace. For a moment I felt that time stopped for a while, and for a moment I
really felt how good it was to be standing there, as if all the weights in my
shoulders were lifted off. Deep within my heart, I was talking to God, I was
thanking God, I prayed and hoped I can see this view for hundreds of thousands
more nights. It was one of the most sincere communications I had with Him for a
while.

It was a glorious night for me, it was an amazing moment,
even when it only last for seconds. A night at Michigan … another piece that fills my
memories ……

To the best of my knowledge, “Doki-doki" is a Japanese
word to express your heart beat when it’s beating faster than usual due to
excitement, panic, nervousness, etc. I really must have a lot of spare times to
even be thinking about these things …..

My heart goes doki-doki just for making a certain phone
calls, just for talking to certain people, just for asking stupid things. Was
it excitement, nervousness, fear? Or was it just an illusion of expectancy? I
think it’s more of expectancy of the outcome. There are sets of scenarios
running in my head that causes me to be excited, to be nervous, and to be
afraid of the outcome and thus there are certain expectation of outcome from
the action I was about to do. That’s probably the closest to being honest about this "doki-doki" feeling.

It’s an amazing miracle in itself on how our emotion relates
to our physical body causing all these chain reactions. But it does make me
wonder as well, isn’t this that we call being alive? The constant expectation,
constant multi scenarios running in our head, the rush of blood of excitement,
of nervousness, or of fear, makes your heart doki-doki? You can live without
doki-doki, but you cannot have a “life” without doki-doki. Technically as long
as your heart beat, you’re living, I guess, but you may not have a “life”.

Sometimes we take for granted the simplest thing that gives
us life. Sometimes we’re so focused on trivial things that we forgot the
important things. It’s been a while since my heart feels doki-doki due to
excitement, the nervousness that haunts me waiting for answers, deciding what will
happen next, until recently. It’s very unpleasant, yet very calming in a way,
knowing that I am still alive, still able to try one more time, still able to
greet the important people in my life, still able to eat and play all that I
want, still have a chance for anything that I want. It’s a big part of all the
things that I’ve taken for granted. It’s a very nice feeling to have realizing
that I have been granted the best gift a person can ever ask, a life. I wish my
heart will feel doki-doki till the day it stop beating ……